The only way a husband can find his place as by putting his wife into hers. Men suck.
Most of them do. I try to stay away from those kind and go for the ones that lick.
I have white girl hips. Give me those JLo lumps. Maybe then I’ll be exotic enough for his tastes. Ahem.
How’d your V-Day go? Get all dominatrix?
I see what you did there, clever girl. The wife is never enough, is he? No dear, no. I keep my leather for special occasions. i can’t tell you the last time Anything was special with my husband.
No stiff anything’s necessary for me, trust. I’m just fine. Though it was a long day for a shoot. No rest for the wicked, I’m afraid. Perhaps I could call in a masseuse. Sam’s in bed, not like Kale and I are doing anything. Attractive company is the best company. Speaking of such, when are we having another ladies brunch, darling?
A masseuse, eh? Is that what they call it theses days? Well , either way, as long as you let the help in so you can de-stress. But I caught on to you, dear. A lunch is long overdue. I could use some fresh company other than those blow hard, botox bitches at the country club.
I’m not worried, trust me. I’m young, I’m gorgeous, and his child is attached to me. He’d have to be an idiot. Though, I suppose that wouldn’t be the first instance of male idiocy. Oooh, who’s the lucky man, then? Do tell. You know I love the gossip.
Whatever you need to tell yourself, dear. You sound like you need a stiff brandy and a stiff…something, more than I. Just a friend. I do like to keep myself in good company. Especially if said company is attractive.
What’s that? I can’t hear you over my high and red velvet cupcakes.
Whatever works for you, dear. It’s better than wallowing in self pity. Just take care that those cupcakes don’t go to your hips.
20 years is as long as I’ve been alive, I can’t even imagine being married for that long. So long as the queen is happy, though, all is fair in the kingdom. Is that what you’re up to tonight, darling? Just you and the good ol’ brandy?
Well are you precious and full of life. Make sure that if you don’t plan on being married long, that you cover your ass for emergencies. There’s always someone younger and more willing than you are. Remember that. Now I never said that I was drinking it alone….
Don’t we all?
Went to the doctor. Wasn’t the hot one with the warm hands, but c’est la vie. Whatever fills the Xanax bottle.
Someone in your place can’t start falling apart til you reach 30.